i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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