You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
