My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
tell me about the fingering
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