Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize