Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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