i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
