I'm jealous of your bromance
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
