i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
