He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize