I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
