so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
