i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
