his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
