I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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