The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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