I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
