So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
