Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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