I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize