After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
