I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
