12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
