And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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