I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
