someone threw a dead crab at me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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