call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
