Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
