It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
