So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
