Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
