If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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