Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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