i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
