Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
