This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
