She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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