I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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