someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dear god my vagina.
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