My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
