You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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