half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
