There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
