I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
