Everything about him screamed your future.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
