Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
