what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
