so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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