You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize