You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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