I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
