I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
