You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
