how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
