I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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