the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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