Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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