Pants 0. Shit 1.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
