If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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