I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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