everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
