I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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