he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
