This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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