i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
